Buck up, ladies: Oklahoma City on the verge of jacking the ‘Outlaws’

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photo / Bethany L King Creative Commons licensed: Attribution-No Derivatives 2.0 Come on, ladies. We’re heading to Oklahoma City to crack some heads. 

The NBA’s Supersonics are heading out of Seattle and into Oklahoma City (boooo). Since the team owners are sweet enough guys to leave the name “Supersonics” behind, Oklahoma City gets to have a naming contest for their team (yay!). The four finalists were recently revealed by ESPN and they are (drum roll, please): Barons, Thunder, Thunderbirds, and Outlaws.

Austin, I know, I thought the same exact thing. We’re the Outlaws. Sure, there are two Giants (San Francisco and New York), two Kings (Los Angeles and Sacramento), two Panthers (Carolina and Florida), as well as two Rangers (Texas and New York). But of those teams, only the Kings are anywhere near each other on a map (384 miles between LA and Sacramento) and we’re not going to count them because they’re in the same state. That officially makes the Outlaws the worst possible choice for Oklahoma City, as a mere 388 miles separate OKC and ATX.

Are you ready for the mind games to get even deeper? Hold on to something squishy with one hand and keep scrolling down with the other.

The Austin Outlaws had their playoff dreams squashed this year on the last game of the season by the… (hold on) … Oklahoma City Lightning. That’s right – Lightning is just like Thunder, one of the other names the new Oklahoma City basketball franchise is considering.

Could this get any more intense? It would be irresponsible for anyone to think it couldn’t. Oklahoma City should be announcing their final decision any day now. Until then, let’s just spend a lot of time sharpening our sticks and lifting weights. When the time comes, we’ll march into OKC like those angry people did during Beauty and the Beast and we’ll take back what’s ours.

Everyone’s with me, right? Hello?

Comments

Michael 's picture

The Beast was actually a really nice misunderstood fellow.

Anonymous's picture

But……..he was FUGLY!

Chris Trew's picture
TOP staff
Beast isn’t a bad name.
jose's picture

It gets deep! There used to be an Arizona Outlaws in the USFL, but apparently they started as the Oklahoma Outlaws: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oklahoma_Outlaws.

OKC will totally be the Outlaws, although Thunderbirds is the best name from that list. Just think of the promotion potential with the fine alcoholic beverage Thunderbird.

For the record, though, the best possible name would be the Oklahoma Oklahoma!s, honoring the thing OK is most known for.