Garry Reed

Saving us from the Constitution

The Loose Cannon Libertarian

Scrambling to rewrite their gun laws after the US Supreme Court affirmed the right of individuals to bear arms (DC v. Heller), the District of Columbia Council voted to end the most restrictive antigun laws in the nation and replace them with new restrictions.

The new legislation, according to an Associated Press report, is designed to follow the letter rather than the spirit of the ruling: Handguns will be permitted but can only be used in the home for self-defense. They cannot fire more than 12 rounds without reloading, which the city of Washington DC oddly defines as “machine guns.” Effective self-defense is further sabotaged by rules requiring that all guns be unloaded, disassembled, or equipped with trigger locks.

Zombie voters and fortune cookies

The Loose Cannon Libertarian

Who are Barack Obama’s supporters?

Picture an old 1950s era black-and-white zombie movie. The undead rise from their graves, begin lurching forward, arms outstretched, eyes vacant, all murmuring eerily in unison, “Change, change, change…”

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photo / roxannejomitchell “Change, change, change…” 

Except Obama’s zombies don’t rise from graves. They emerge from high schools and colleges and Hollywood soundstages and media centers.

Much has been made of Obama’s appeal to American youth. His hook is emotion and vague idealism, which works well on people loaded with emotion and vague idealism but little in the way of experience and genuine knowledge. A generation that barely discerns between Bambi and actual rutting deer can’t be expected to distinguish charisma from substance.

Masters of the unintended

The Loose Cannon Libertarian

Libertarians continually point out that the one thing mainstream politicians everywhere never seem to learn, no matter how many do-overs they get, is this: All actions have consequences; ill-conceived actions have unintended consequences.

This is because the politician’s response to every issue is the same: Governmental coercion solves all problems.

It’s a knee-jerk formula for jerks: See problem A, pass law B, get result C. Problem solved.

Ballpointing the pointy-headed head cases

The Loose Cannon Libertarian

Admit it. You know you’ve done it. You’re loafing in your Laz-Z-Butt lounger in your living room, or compressed between passengers in the middle seat on the Crack O’ Dawn flight to East Piddlyborough, or sneaking an on-the-job mini-vacation in the stinky-stall of your workplace pottyroom, when your eyes land on a line of type in the local Balderdash Bulletin you’ve been drowsily browsing through.

Some subnormal moron did something stunningly stupid today, or said something incredibly enlightened, or offered an ignorant opinion and it was all prominently preserved in newsprint.

Preemptive crime fighting

The Loose Cannon Libertarian

Libertarians have long warned that interventionism in foreign affairs inexorably leads to interventionism in domestic policy.

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photo / +lyn Creative Commons licensed: Attribution-No Derivatives 2.0 

The hallmark of worldwide liberal-blessed Neocon-beloved empire building is the quaint little idea of preemptive war. The mentality works like this:

“That nasty little backwater sandbox of Upyerwazooistan, whose military can’t fight its way out of a moldy goatskin, might have a weapon of mass destruction which they might give to a terrorist which they might smuggle across our dangerously wide-open southern border in a donkey cart which might be used to blow up the President’s vacation home so we have to bomb third-world peasants and kill off thousands of American soldiers in the process of imposing the ideal of corrupt American-style ‘democracy’ on everyone.”

The Powercrats of Oz

The Loose Cannon Libertarian

They came, one by one, emerging from unseen offices and workspaces, making their way quietly along the back streets and alleyways of the American enclave known variously as Oz or Wonderland or Washington DC.

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photo / heyu1021 Creative Commons licensed: Attribution-No Derivatives 2.0 Follow the yellow brick road 

They were the gray, boring, unimposing men and women who inhabit the capital city of the most powerful empire on earth, barely noticed and effectively forgotten. They were known only by their titles: PenPusher, PaperShuffler, Agencycrat, and LowLevel CivilServant.

But they were also the friction-reducing, life-prolonging, anti-wear, multi-viscosity grease that makes the millstone of government grind. They were, in short, the most powerful people on the planet.

Drooling homeschooling ruling

The Loose Cannon Libertarian

Newspaper article:

Los Angeles– A California judge ruled that parents without teaching credentials cannot legally homeschool their children, and then asserted, “Parents do not have a constitutional right to homeschool their children.”

News conference:

“Ladies and Gentlemen of the media, thank you for attending our Posturing and Image Management Event today. I will now turn the proceedings over to our Chief Legalcrat, Sue Pantzoff, Commissar of the Department of Unjustified Prosecutions for the Peoples Republik of Kalifornia.”

When laws become contemptible

The Loose Cannon Libertarian

According to news reports, immigration advocates are advising illegals that their best bet against deportation is to clam up and say nothing when the cops come calling.

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photo / jim.greenhill Creative Commons licensed: Attribution 

This hacks off critics who claim the do-gooders are aiding lawbreakers.

Quoting one article, “It shows blatant contempt for the rule of law in this country and blatant contempt for local police working with federal authorities to clean up this mess,” said Chris Simcox, president of the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps.

Continuing crackdowns on undocumented border-busters have thousands of immigrants flocking to pro-immigrant forums where techniques on ducking deportation are taught.

Soap flakes and political fakes

The Loose Cannon Libertarian

Some people spend hours ensconced on their couches enmeshed in the melodramatic meanderings of sordid soap opera offerings. Others hover above their keyboards surfing sources for unsavory political punditry and picayune policy pronouncements.

But is there really much difference between soap operas and politicking? Consider:

Days of Our Lies

Interior | Congressional office | Day
Corn Lobbyist Wheeler Deeler confronts Senator Flip Phlopper in his Washington DC office.

Lobbyist: (emotional) I’ve given you everything. I embraced your body politic with my assets. I caressed your palm with hush money. I’ve gotten you high in our corporate jet. Now I catch you with that scrawny little two-faced soybean lobbyist slut!

TSA goes laissez-faire

The Loose Cannon Libertarian

In the ever-evolving war against airline passengers, the Transportation Security Administration continues to develop new weapons of mass dysfunction.

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photo / arvindgrover Creative Commons licensed: Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Austin-Bergstrom Airport 

Travelers have long been harassed with X-ray machines, metal-detecting wands, and inscrutable verbal vetting like “Did someone put something in your luggage when you weren’t looking?”

Then in 2006 the TSA began quietly testing two new anti-personnel weapons.

One is sort of an automated lie detector, a booth that interrogates suspects with damning questions (“Did someone put something in your luggage when you weren’t looking?”) while software analyzes feedback from biometric sensors busily monitoring blood pressure, pulse rate, and nervous tics.

Politically correct plaque attack

The Loose Cannon Libertarian

As one might expect in today’s virulently aggressive politically correct culture, a movement is afoot to rewrite history, which includes “amending the plaques, statues, and memorials of historical figures to reflect their racist sentiments.” (Christian Science Monitor)

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photo / babasteve Creative Commons licensed: Attribution 

One movement afoot is to footnote a bust of Supreme Court Justice Roger Taney as a racist because he wrote the majority opinion in the Dred Scott case which, to simplify for today’s Attention Deficit devotees, was a ruling that a slave entering a non-slave state could not become a non-slave since that would deprive his master of his property.

Nigerian scam letter 4 U

The Loose Cannon Libertarian

FOR YOUR UTMOST OF PARAMOUNT ATTENTIONS!

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photo / soggydan Creative Commons licensed: Attribution 

It is to understand that you might be of somewhat apprehension because you do not know of me but I ensure I have a lucrative business proposal of mutually interest to share with you.

My name is Hillaracko Bamajohn McClainton. I am the most leading of Candidates for to becoming the Presidency of the United States of the Americas. My Spouse was former President of the U.S. of the America and I am also the Neocon Hero of War and the Great Charisma Leader of The Change.

I have a mutually favorable intention for you. I will needing you to assist me in executing a business venture between the Washington of the D.C. and your state of residing.