Luna

All you blue-eyed people are related

According to a new study, everyone with blue eyes has a single, common ancestor. This ancestor’s blue eyes, it turns out, were a genetic mutation – originally, all human beings had brown eyes. The scientists figured this out using haplotypes (whatever that means).

So that means Bill Clinton and George W. Bush and Ann Coulter and Bill Maher are related! (Sort of.)

Teh LOLcat Bibul, srsly

The fervor for LOLcats, those cute little image macros splattered with grammatically incorrect yet humorous phrases, has reached a religious pitch. The latest project from bored teenagers is a translation of the Bible into lolspeak, or more academically, kitty pidgin. As of January 4th, 35% of the Bible had been translated. Fur reelz.

Worst/best fight scene EVARR

This “fight” scene is from the movie Undefeatable, which came out in 1994.

Ow my eyes

It’s so bad that it’s good.

Overheard in Austin | Amy’s Ice Cream

overheard in austin

Amy’s Ice Cream on Guadalupe

Girl to her girlfriends “Now that he and I have been dating a while, we should probably get to know each other.”

Same girl, 10 minutes later “He made a Facebook group for me and Ruth Bader Ginsburg!”

Drinking bottled holy water makes you good

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courtesy Spiritual WaterI’m glad they do background checks on the priests. 

Why drink Gatorade to boost your performance when you can drink holy water instead? The latest bottled-water trend (I didn’t even know there were bottled-water trends) is holy drinking water.

Overheard in Austin | Original Kerbey Lane

overheard in austin

Kerbey Lane

Annoying girl to her friend “Have you ever heard of a whiskey sour?”

Aggies can claim world’s longest leg hair. Good job

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photo / timsamoff 

A former Aggie, Wesley Pemberton, has just achieved the Guinness World Record for longest leg hair at 5 inches.

Is Europe a country?

In the grand tradition of Miss Teen South Carolina, here’s Kellie Pickler, who placed sixth in the fifth season of American Idol.

Overheard in Austin | HEB Hancock

overheard in austin

HEB Hancock

Old white man to young black man checking out his groceries “What, you didn’t make the NBA?”

Overheard by Jessica B.

Austin’s Bachelor chooses… no one

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I don’t watch The Bachelor, but since this year’s Bachelor, Brad Womack, is from Austin, I sort of care. He and his brothers own the Chugging Monkey, the Dizzy Rooster, the Thirsty Nickel and the Marq, so he’s probably partly responsible for at least one of your drunken revelries.

Rock, lame, scissors

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photo / Found Magazine 

Rock, paper, scissors will never be the same for me again. But I’m grateful for the enlightenment.

Check out Found Magazine

Austin officially has attractive people and good barbecue

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photo / D.B. Blas 

Now everything Austinites already know about how awesome their city is has been validated by the rest of the country. Earlier this year, Travel and Leisure Magazine polled people around the country about the best and worst characateristics of the top 25 cities in America, including Austin. Among our results: #4 for the Most Attractive People (duh), #3 for Underground Arts Scene (double duh), and #1 for Barbecue (triple duh).

PETA hates Qua

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photo / richard_ling 

You know how you can now dance over sharks at Qua? You may not get to anymore if PETA has their way. They are reportedly very upset at the conditions in which the sharks are living. They claim three sharks have already died and one is taking antibiotics.

Their solution? Sexy mermaids. No joke.

Overheard in Austin | Highland Lanes

overheard in austin

Highland Lanes

Drunk guy in front of bowling alley on his cell phone “Man, I just got kicked out of the bowling alley! They wouldn’t serve me a drink! I’d only had five fucking beers!”

Man gets busy with himself in Barnes and Noble; girl posts on Craiglist

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photo / _e.t 

From Craigslist:

To the man masturbating at barnes and noble - w4m
I know it’s not your thing, but please take it to the bathroom. And if I ever see you again, I will punch you in the face.

Why do so many people masturbate in bookstores? I hear stories about it all the time.

Leslie has a Wikipedia entry!

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photo / phrog8v8r Shake it, Leslie! 

Were you ever curious to learn more about Leslie, our favorite local homeless transgendered two-time mayoral candidate? Kind souls have created a Wikipedia entry about her. Make sure to check out the references at the bottom, too.

Matt Damon does Matthew McConaughey

Who knew Matt Damon did impressions in between stints as Jason Bourne? Back in December 2006, Damon did a dead-on impression of our favorite bongo-smacking, ab-flaunting, Austin-living superstar, Matthew McConaughey.

Seth Green: Leave Chris Crocker alone!

Seth Green has something to say to those of us who are laughing at poor Chris Crocker, whose only crime was to passionately defend Britney Spears against public ridicule.