Spider House

Woman “I have to smoke a joint when I wake up. Otherwise I have headaches.”

Her friend “Yeah, I definitely prefer drinking.”

Ahhh, summer. A time to “soak up the sun,” “catch some rays,” and “swim around in water.”

For residents of Las Palmas Apartments, any and all plans of swimming this summer are officially ruined because the pool is now officially haunted.

photo / GodsMoon  

Residents in a Southeast Austin apartment complex discovered a man’s body floating in the apartment’s pool.

Police were called to the scene at 2409 Town Lake Circle shortly after 5pm Sunday afternoon.

Although he was found submerged in the water, police are waiting for autopsy reports to determine exactly what caused his death. However, they do not believe that this was a suspicious death.

Read the rest of the story from KVUE

You’re probably not. Sorry.

But in case you want to try for the title (and be rejected), here’s the info:

photo / Kristin Hillery Oh, hey, it’s those guys 

It’s back! Austin Film Festival, Cap City Comedy Club and The Onion are proud to announce The Third Annual Funniest Filmmaker in Austin contest! Enter by August 11th, 2008 and on Monday August 18th, join host and former Funniest Person in Austin winner Matt Bearden to see who wins the contest.

Hit us with your best shot. It’s free to enter and the winner will play the Austin Film Festival this October. Not a professional? Don’t despair! Funny beats technical ability in this contest. Quick and dirty shorts are welcome!

Rudy’s

Woman “I just don’t understand why they’d advertise being ‘the worst bar-b-q in Texas.’ Why are people eating here?”

photo / cogdogblog  

Idaho senator Larry Craig, who was busted last year for lewd conduct in a Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport restroom, really needs to be careful about what he says. Especially when he’s talking about being jerked around by your gas nozzle.